What does it matter what time in life you meet your someone? you can meet millions of people and then just decide to settle on the last one that made you feel something and thats way worse than meeting the one you love when you’re young and facing obstacles because thats what you fucking do for someone that you love, you work at your relationship and even if you fight you find common ground and you always ALWAYS remember you love each other even when you want nothing to do with them you still want to tell them “I love you.” So tell me, why do i have to wait until im 27 with a graduate degree and a car and a steady job to decide that this is the right time to meet someone just because its deemed acceptable by society. why do i feel a need to convince my parents that my relationship won’t end in tragedy? People psyche themselves out. its really not that hard to stay with a person if you both have the drive to. *end of rant*
i can’t find meaning in anything anymore because i’m actually relatively happy, and i’m unable to write real poetry because my subconscious is finally at peace. i don’t know if this is good or not.
My biggest problem is trying to get a reaction from people and thats wrong bc people will never react the way u want them to. Unless of course that is you tell ur bf you wanna fuck his best friend in which case yes they most definitely will become horny jealous dominant
but how do you fall in love with someone not just by their words? They say that if you do this, you are falling in love with the idea of someone and not the actual person but what the frick am i supposed to think when you say things like “I don’t think there’s a God, but you’re a freaking miracle of a person” and ”I love you more than anyone, fucker.” ?
Some people all they have is words. I am those people!! help this is why people leave me
Snuggling back into a warm bed with someone after you’ve just come back from peeing feels like when you’re a little kid and on a cold summer night when you’re swimming, you run four laps around the pool cus the air is freezing and right at the end of the fourth lap you scream and jump right back into the warm water n just revel in it for a few mins
Paleness & ache & birdhouse construction & memory distorts, darling
I want to stop lying. I want to not cheat on people. I want a man with a beard and two hands and a chest. I want a man to push our child’s butt over the edge of the seat it’s trying to climb and then say yay!! you did it all by yourself!!! I want friends that like me. I want a boy to lay on top of me and crush me with all of his weight. I want a boy to bury his face in my neck. I want to be choked. I want you to call me pretty. I want you to hit me. I want you to stop apologizing. I want you to stop apologizing then going right back to fingering me a minute and a half later. I want the bruises on my neck to go away before he notices. I want him to notice. I don’t want to have to think of these things, I want them to pour out of me. I want to believe that I want to die. I want to be a good person. I want to stop lying..
The man i end up building a life with has to have his own chair. My dad has his blue chair in the center of the living room upstairs and my grandfather had a magenta chair that is still in the corner of their living room even though hes not alive anymore and they sleep in the chair and they eat in the chair and snore in the chair and are always there in the chair and the man i end up building a life with has to have his own chair.
fetish where people hammer nails into eachothers skin
Leonardo da Vinci was the only painter ever to depict Jesus Christ with holes in his wrists. Contrary to what most people are taught today of Christ being nailed to the cross by his palms, da Vinci believed that he was actually hung by his wrists; he recognized that the palms would never have been strong enough to support the full weight of his body.
Anyway, I drew a black dot on my wrist right after I learned that and now I can’t stop picturing a nail going through and piercing one of my veins and it just bleeding out and down the length of my arm but in the way my veins are arranged and yea
(you told me you loved me but i think you were just horny)