After your dreams have all died and morning isn't morning, what are you?
The Kiss by Gustav Klimt (detail), oil and gold leaf on canvas, 1907–1908
my parents keep leaving me home alone for entire weekends i think they want me to have sex with my boyfriend
Abandonment makes you cruel
dream in big boats sugar-melting baby
i’m not married because he is dead
and we didn’t marry cuz it would have ruined
our benefits. we got engaged but i wore a sherrif’s badge
instead of a ring. when i was 7 mnths pregnant i left him cuz
he blacked my eye again. he held the kitchen knife to my bump, sed
me and the baby would die.
i moved in w my mum in a tiny village outside town.
he was an ex go-kart racer. got himself a car so he could visit us.
he kept getting arrested for drunk driving like he was still racing
round a track.
on the 3rd or 4th drunk driving arrest he assaulted a police officer.
got 6 mnths.
before he went down he did a DIY detox. he told me, living without methadone was like walking barefoot on gravel.
i’m not married because he is dead.
the day he got out of prison, he got wasted, lost his keys, climbed up to his window, fell off his block of flats.
he broke his back in 2 or 3 places and he went into a coma for 8 mnths.
when he came to, he couldn’t remember the previous 3 years.
he couldn’t remember who i was.
and he had open back surgery for 2 years.
and he was in a wheelchair and he wore a colostomy bag.
some nurse got his meds wrong and he died of an epileptic fit.
But you are loved, even if you don’t feel it at the moment